Metal: A Headbanger's Journey (2005)

There are certain movies or, in this case, documentaries, which must be seen by real rock fans. One of those is Metal: A Headbanger's Journey, written and directed by Sam Dunn, Scott McFadyen and Jessica Joy Wise.

Everything in this documentary is done well, from the camera work to the extensive research which was obviously done prior to the making of the film. Interviews with members of Iron Maiden, Slayer, Dio and Black Sabbath, among many others, make Metal a must-see due to the sheer weight (as in heavy metal) of the people being interviewed.

You get scared when the black Nordic metal bands are interviewed, what with all their "we hate God and everybody else must die" points of view. You get excited when Iron Maiden's lead singer, Bruce Dickinson, is describing what it feels like to be playing in front of 20,000 screaming people. You become a friend and comrade-in-arms with writer/director Sam Dunn, who studied anthropology and obviously wants to see how metal links humans through music and a lifestyle.

The only problem I can find, and it's not such a small problem, is that there are barely any references to hard rock of the 1980's. Call it hair metal, hard rock, glam rock, cock rock or whatever you want, but if it wasn't for bands such as Bon Jovi, Poison and Mötley Crüe, rock music would have had a really hard time getting through the 80's into the 90's. Hard rock was Mtv's baby and should've been given a bigger spot in this fine piece of film.

Overall, Metal: A Headbanger's Journey is excellent and deserves to be seen by you. For any high school kids out there, this is a great place to do some research if you just happen to be writing a research paper on heavy metal music. So get to it!

Is There Ever Going to Be a Chinese Democracy?

The rumor mill is at it again. After having written a review of G'N'R's debut album, Appetite for Destruction, I found on metalsludge's webpage a news, or rumor, item that is of obvious interest. Apparently Axl's baby, an album that is supposedly going to be called Chinese Democracy, was finished in December.

Most people might find that not a big deal, but if you take under consideration that is has been under production for about 10-12 years and has cost more than 13 million dollars already, then the news is of gargantuan proportions. We're talking proportions of Tommy Lee's size (as in his height). Axl and his pseudo-Guns N' Roses have been writing and recording this album with so many problems, mostly due to Axl's indecisiveness, that the question remains: will people actually care if and when this album comes out? I mean, talk about burning your bridges! If he had released an album a couple of years (or even going the Def Lep road, four years) after The Spaghetti Incident was released in 1993, then things might've been different. Or maybe things will be big exactly because he's been a hermit all these years. Who knows?

Axl Rose and Co. have actually NOT BEEN AROUND (with the exception of live performances here and there, whenever Axl actually showed up) for a long time, folks. Let's just check out some things that have happened since G'N'R released their last studio album, shall we? In no particular order of importance, of course.

1) The Spice Girls ruled the world and then disappeared (sorry, couldn't resist it).
2) Led Zeppelin played again!
3) The Police got back together!
4) KISS got back together, then started playing musical chairs.
5) Poison's Bret Michaels went from being the star of the show, to being the star of his show, Rock of Love.
6) The mighty Van Halen got back together with... OMG... Diamond Dave!
7) Slash actually got one band together, Slash's Snakepit, made two albums in about 7 years and not a lot of noise with them, and then got back together with Duff and Matt Sorum, added the Stone Temple Pilots singer, Scott Weiland, and made another band, Velvet Revolver, with which success came a-flowin'.
8) Aerosmith went from having their videos played non-stop on Mtv (1993-94) to pretty much being shunned by what is now pretty much HHtv (1999-present). More on HHtv later.
9) Queen toured again!
10) I released my first album with my band, Maracas Brain!

As you can see, the music world has done a few cartwheels since Guns were last considered as part of the Billboard top 200 in a "new album just released" status. And let's not even get into things outside rock, like 9-11. So time will tell, as Poison once said, and we'll just have to wait and see if Axl's magic can actually outsmart even himself and make the greatest comeback in the history of popular music.

Guns N' Roses - Appetite for Destruction

Getting into "debut albums that made history", 1987 was the year of one of the biggest, Appetite for Destruction, by Guns N' Roses. Having taken its time for it to become big, Appetite ended up staying in the Billboard 200 for about a million years. Ok, so maybe not that much, but it did stay there for many years. I can say this because, about 10 years ago, I still saw it in the top 200 on Billboard. So, in that sense, it joins the ranks of albums such as Dark Side of the Moon, by Pink Floyd (in that sense).

If anybody still has any questions about whether or not attitude is one of the main ingredients in the making of a great album, Appetite for Destruction should pretty much shut their mouths. Without a single weak song, G'N'R's debut album is a foray into what makes the world of rock music so exciting and so dangerous. The only reason why this record was only certified 15x platinum in the United States was due to the very nature of the songs and lyrics. Having a plethora of four-letter words, drug references gallore and pretty much the rest being every parent's nightmare, Appetite ended up being the most sold, yet least consumer-friendly album in history. But BOY, was it honest and in-your-face!

Welcome to the Jungle, the debut single, was a trip into the netherworld of going to Hollywood. Paradise City is a look into how unfriendly the city of your dreams can actually become. Mr. Brownstone, due to its references to crack cocaine, was pretty much a miracle that it were included in the album. I would love to see the reference book that record label executives take a look in whenever they have to think about letting a band put or not a track on an album.

Out of all this rock-and-roll-seedy-side-of-the-streets collection of songs, W. Axl Rose and company still had the balls to give us a ballad! Sweet Child O' Mine was the song that made little teenage girls in 1988 want to hear what this band was about. I bet their parents were more than happy to buy them the album... only to be utterly shocked as soon as the second song, It's So Easy, came on their little angels' stereos.

Lead guitarist Slash became a hero for his great taste in soloing. Because that was one of the main reasons why Guns became such a monster. Putting together the raw edge of punk with the melodies of the blues was a formula that many later tried to recreate, only to fail miserably.

Reasons to walk through dangerous streets in order to acquire this album:

1) Axl's lead vocals and ever-changing voice
2) Slash's edible licks
3) Anybody with this album in their record collection gets extra points in the "I'm a dangerous MF" section.

Appetite for Destruction is one of those albums that you never get tired of. And if you ever do, the album might just kick your ass. Yes, it's that hard.

The Validity of the One-Hit Wonder

The world is divided into two kinds of people: those who hate one-hit wonders and those who don't really care about the topic. I say let there be a third group of people! Those of us who think that one hit wonders are great! People should not look at artists that only had one hit as "fake", "better left forgotten", or some other unkind ways of thinking about them. There is a much positive way of looking at one-hit wonders that, in fact, makes them something so important that - even though they never set out to have just one hit - their contribution is invaluable to the whole music industry.

Picture a band of kids just starting out, playing some clubs in their hometown. Picture a girl of 28 waiting on tables but still writing song after song. Think of that thirtysomething guy who's flame is still as bright as 10 years before. Then think of a one-hit wonder, any one-hit wonder.

There is something fundamental that people seem to forget about when they bad-mouth one-hit wonders: one-hit wonders had a HIT. How many of the people who talk so loudly and badly about them can say that? How many of them can say that, at one time or another, they had a song of their making sung by people around the country, or around the world? Or if the song wasn't written by the artist, how many can say of actually having written a song that has become part of pop culture, at least in some measure? How many producers out there can say that they have produced a bona fide hit? How many musicians can say that the notes they recorded have bounced off of walls in teens' rooms around the globe?

So, first things first, let's shut those people up.

Then let's remember the examples of those people just starting out in the music world or, on the other hand, "giving it one last try". Let's put ourselves in their shoes for just a minute and then imagine a world in which there had never been any one-hit wonders. That means that there would be a severe cutback in the number of artists who, in the past 50 years, have actually "made it" in one way or another. What kind of world would that be? A world in which only people who were able to weather everything that a very picky, and many times unfriendly, industry was able to throw at them survive? A world in which only people who were in it for the rest of their lives are able to prosper? In other words, a world which goes directly against everything rock has stood for all these years: freedom and choice.

It's easy to say, and probably true, that the vast majority of one-hit wonders would not have chosen to have only one hit. But they did and, at the very least, many can live knowing that they, at least for a time, were flying high and had "made it". For all aspiring-to-be-famous musicians out there, one-hit wonders should be seen as something not bad and fake. They should be seen as giving that one thing that makes us all want to continue doing whatever it is that we do in our lives. One-hit wonders give hope.

Led Zeppelin - IV

Just for a minute, let's imagine that Led Zeppelin had never releasead IV. Ok, are you doing it? It's a pretty horrible thing to think about, huh? So, I have another idea. Let's not.

It was 1971 when Led Zeppelin released this album, which has become one of the biggest selling albums in the history of big-selling albums, but much more than that, IV is just a pretty amazing collection of songs. One very cool thing is that only eight songs make up this album! Of course, when you include within those eight songs Stairway to Heaven, Rock and Roll and Black Dog, you have only one question: are you KIDDING me???

For the sake of argument and in order not to make this review something a) repetitive and b) extremely long-winded, let's imagine that pretty much everything has been said about the songs I previously mentioned. Instead, let's imagine that there are other songs which, by the way, there are. Because Led Zeppelin IV was not only made up of those three monstrous songs; it's also got five more from which I can cross my heart and tell you that, rocker's honor, they're all good.

But out of those five songs, I'd like for people to think specially about two of them. The Battle of Evermore is an acoustic number (this album has a high percentage of acoustic guitars) that just makes you want to put on that harlequin costume that all of us have in our closet and dance for your king or queen. Either that or maybe run around the hills of parts of the British Isles. In any case, one hell of a song.

I have to say, though, that the best song of the lot is Going to California. Led Zep pretty much cashed in all their chips when they composed that wonderful bit of music. It's dreamy; it's sexy; it's beautiful!

Reasons to own this album or die trying:

1) One should always open the eyes to realize that Led Zeppelin were the masters of acoustic rock... whatever that is.
2) Going to California
3) You have to buy this album because you're one of the seventeen people in the world who still haven't bought it.

All kidding aside, IV is a marvelous record that puts together in one package Jimmy Page's beautiful sounding acoustic guitars and nice and grungy electric ones, John Bonham's HUGE drum sound, John Paul Jones' meticulously exact bass lines and Robert Plant's wails which still inspire singers to try and bust a vocal chord or two trying to sing Rock and Roll. Led Zeppelin IV is a must for any fan of rock music.

The P.M.R.C.

The Parents' Music Resource Center has probably been the biggest pain in the behind, as well as one of the biggest boosters, that hard rock and heavy metal music has ever had. Started in the mid-80's by, among others, Tipper Gore, wife of future Vice President Al Gore, it waved the flag of righteousness right at the heart of the U.S. - in Washington, D.C.

Do you recognize the label you see to your left? The "Parental Advisory: Explicit Lyrics" sticker on countless albums is the brainchild of the P.M.R.C. It was meant to be a deterrent, a final warning to parents that the music contained in certain albums was not "good" for their children. Always forgetting, of course, that pretty much anything their children could watch on the early evening news was worse than the content of 99% of the bands out there.

I remember very well living in San Antonio and trying to purchase Guns N' Roses Appetite for Destruction album sometime in 1988 and having to go get my mom to buy it for me! That's when I started to find out about real censorship. And something that will always be ingrained in by mind will be Aerosmith's Steven Tyler saying, during their televised acceptance to an award for their PUMP album in either late 89 or early 90, something to the likes of "Oh, and by the way, a big thank you to Tipper Gore. Your stickers have made sure that any album wearing them will at least go platinum!"

So much for the P.M.R.C.

Warrant - Cherry Pie

When Warrant's "Dirty Rotten Filthy Stinking Rich", their debut album, came out in 1989, few people would've guessed that the boys in the white leather (see their Heaven music video) were going to end up being such a good, solid band, both in the studio and live. Lead singer Jani Lane turned out to be one of the best songwriters to come out of the 80's, and Cherry Pie started to prove that.

Cherry Pie, which originally was going to be called Vertical Smile (get it?), is an album that, at first glance, is a pure party album. What with songs like Love in Stereo, Sure Feels Good to Me and the title track itself, we have plenty of party rock music to get into when you listen to this album.

But Jani Lane, along with guitarists Erik Turner and Joey Allen, drummer Steven Sweet and bassist Jerry Dixon, turned out such a great second album insofar as material is concerned, that looking only at the party songs is ill-conceived. You're the Only Hell Your Mama Ever Raised is a rock tune that pretty much puts its finger on some of the different types of rebellion that teenagers can find in order to make their parents' lives a living hell. The ballad I Saw Red is probably the best song of love-going-away-due-to-infidelity to come out in 1990:

"I saw red when I opened up the door. I saw red. My heart just dropped down to the floor, and I didn't need to see his face. I saw yours. I saw red and then I closed the door. I don't think I'm gonna love you anymore." - I Saw Red, Warrant


Uncle Tom's Cabin is a wonderfully well-told story of murder within the context of a rock song. The video for it won a video competition on Mtv in 1991 and deservedly so. Blind Faith is the other ballad, moving and with a beautiful guitar line, while Train Train, originally written by Shorty Medlock, almost closes out the album.

Almost.

You see, I happen to have the original, uncensored version of Cherry Pie, which includes one last track (you can't call it a song). It is called Ode to Tipper Gore and is a collection of four-letter words recorded while on tour. What did Mrs. Gore do to deserve all this? In the very near future I'll delve a little into something that was called the P.M.R.C.

Reasons to get this album like, now:

1) Uncle Tom's Cabin, one of the great songs of that year
2) I Saw Red, just because it's so awesome in its awesomeness.
3) Mr. Rainmaker. You will only need one listen to know.

Warrant started out the decade in a wonderful manner with Cherry Pie, but later on, when we take a look at their next three albums, we'll see that it was going to get better, maybe not in terms of sales, but certainly in terms of musicianship and lyrics.

What Is Fame?

I'm nobody to go around answering this question, but let's ask it again: what is fame? So many rising bands say that they "wanna be famous", but what exactly are they referring to? Is famous being known by your whole school? Because just take a step backward and you might be famous just by getting everyone to know you in your house or building! Is fame being known in you whole city? Or is that not enough and too close to being just a small social circle. Is fame being known in your whole country? So rock stars are famous, but what about low-key politicians who are, nevertheless, known throughout the country for what they do? Are they famous, too? Because according to the last definition, they would be. Is fame being recognized all over the world? Well, then would Shamu (the whale) be considered famous, or is fame a humans-only club?

Is fame being known or liked? How famous do you have to get until you become infamous?
How will fame be measured in 20 or 50 years, when who-knows-what will have already taken over what we know now as the internet?
Is the age of immediacy to be known as the age when everybody could be famous and in that way, nobody in the whole world could be?

Who knows. All I know is that I'm not famous. Yet.

Rush - Chronicles

Rush has always been a sort of landmark that many musicians want to reach, as far as musicianship is concerned. Simply put, they are the best trio of musicians to make progressive rock, and you can couple that with the fact that they have outsold pretty much any other progressive rock act in the world. In 1990, Rush released their double greatest hits album, Chronicles, showcasing their best known tracks and, once again, showing everyone why they deserve a spot in the history of rock music.

Chronicles is a great way to get to know Rush. No, it doesn't include many songs that many fans would have expected to show up, but it is still an amazing retrospective into their history between the years 1974 and 1989.

It's very difficult to try to highlight songs from any kind of greatest hits package, but nevertheless, there are standouts, as in all albums. From the early albums, Fly By Night and Working Man shine like bright stars in the sky, showing you the way to the next songs! It's hard to underappreciate the song 2112, which, in its original form, is over 20 minutes long, but still, the version shown here (much shorter than the original) gives you a glimpse into a song that made history for them. The song A Farewell to Kings is a masterpiece where everyone shines brightly, and Geddy Lee's bass lines are some of the finest of his career. Of course, guitarist Alex Lifeson doesn't fall behind, although he is perhaps considered to be the most subdued of the three, at least as far as showing off is concerned (whether intentionally or not). After all, it must be pretty interesting to try to show off when your drummer is not only the lyricist of the band, but is also considered by many to be the best rock drummer alive. The man in question being drummer Neil Peart, of course. And it must also be a chore to try to outdo Geddy Lee, who not only is a bass player with whom most would rather not be compared, but is also the singer, singing upward of 3 hours a night (!), and also the main keyboard player in the band, sometimes looking like a strange sort of musical octopus when certain songs require it during live performances.

But continuing on with the highlights of Chronicles, the songs Closer to the Heart, strangely a Rush ballad, the instrumental La Villa Strangiato and the ultra-metaphorically-interesting The Trees, show why Rush in the 70's was untouchable. Moving on to the 80s, we have Rush's biggest hit, Tom Sawyer, as well as great songs from their synthesizer era, Subdivisions and Distant Early Warning.

Reasons to own this album:

1) Geddy Lee
2) Neil Peart
3) Alex Lifeson

Need I say more?

I'm sure I'm commiting all sorts of sins here by not mentioning many other songs, but you get the idea. If you've ever been curious about Rush, Chronicles is a great way to get started! But heed my warning: it'll only be the beginning because after it, you'll be wanting their entire catalog. And it's worth it.

Street Fighting Men

It's always interesting to see how two distinctly different bands write a song with the same title. I mean, it's not like that hasn't happened before. But anyways, The Rolling Stones vs. Lynch Mob. In 1968 the Stones released this song on their Beggar's Banquet album, while Lynch Mob (created by ex-Dokken guitarist George Lynch) released their 1990 debut album, Wicked Sensation, carrying a song with the same name. If you want to think about it, the Stones' version is a much more elaborate song, even though they repeat most of the lyrics during the verses. Lynch Mob's version is more neutral, in a sense, since there are no real allusions to places or times. Mick Jagger came up with his song while seeing some unrest in London due to the Vietnam War, while Lynch Mob's version came from, well... my guess? It came from the need to write a song with a cool title and from the necessity to carry yet another angry rock song in their debut. Mind you, the song is not bad at all, it's just that it lacks the perspective of a world divided in two, like what people could see in the end of the 1960's. I'm sure the boys in Lynch Mob had their share of experiences on the street (or maybe not, who knows?), but still, as well-produced as their song is, my vote still goes for The Rolling Stones.

School of Rock (2003)

One of the best movies to depict probably one of the worst acts to be done is School of Rock, released in 2003. Directed by Richard Linklater (Dazed and Confused, A Scanner Darkly), written by Mike White (Nacho Libre), and starring the always entertaining and very likeable Jack Black, it makes the idea of passing yourself off as a substitute teacher in order to use a bunch of elementary school kids as your rock band and then, at least legally, actually kidnapping them in order to take them to an audition so as to win a rock band competition!

So, having gotten that out of my system, this is one of the coolest, funniest, most bad-ass rock movies to have been made in Hollywood. The perfect combination of great music (songs you can hear come from bands such as Led Zeppelin - Immigrant Song - and AC/DC - It's a Long Way to the Top (If You Wanna Rock'n'Roll)), great acting, a really original script and, of course, the POWER OF ROCK.

Jack Black's depiction of an ageing, wannabe rock star is marevelously funny and best of all, very accurate! Without getting into the whole this-is-what-the-movie-is-all-about thing, I just want to say that it's very funny the way Black shows his character to the audience, but it's also very realistic. And while some people might find pathetic the way Jack Black's character, Dewey Finn (what a rock god name, huh?), tries at all costs to win the competition, there is also a lot to be admired from his portrayal of Finn in this movie.

Dewey Finn is the type of guy that most people love to feel pity for, but he's also the type of person that most people secretly admire: the one who never quits and will do anything to make his dreams come true.

Sure, there is a lot to be said for this movie. Besides being funny and having a very original script, it has a soundtrack most movies would kill for, solid acting (the gang of rocking kids is very well played), and a great production value in that it really knows what the hell it's talking about when it comes down to giving us some rock. The DVD includes many interesting extras, but there is one that definitely takes the cake. Being well known for not lending their music to many movies, Led Zeppelin's Immigrant Song was still an integral part of a scene in the movie and they had to be able to secure it for the production. Jack Black took things into his own hands by, during the shooting of a concert scene, pleading in front of the cameras to Robert Plant and Jimmy Page in order to get their divine permission. Needless to say, they got it.

You want to have a really good time? You want to listen to some great music? You want to check out a character that maybe all of us could learn a little from? You want to check out probably one of the best end-credits scenes ever shot? You need your School of Rock fix.

Mötley Crüe - Girls, Girls, Girls

After much success with their previous two albums (1983's Shout At The Devil and 1985's Theater Of Pain), Mötley Crüe released in 1987 Girls, Girls, Girls, which still did not give them a #1 album. Whitney Houston kept them out of the number 1 spot and they would have to wait until 1989's Dr. Feelgood to finally reach it.

Nevertheless, Girls, Girls, Girls was their best album up to that point. While only having 9 original studio songs (the tenth track was a live cover of Jailhouse Rock), this album took raunchiness in the hard rock world to whole new levels. The title track was a beautiful (can I use that word with lyrics such as "Friday night and I need a fight, my motorcycle and a switchblade knife"? Oh, what the hell, YES.) rocker, an ode to those women that have entertained men whilst taking their clothes off in exchange for some monetary compensation. I believe they're called strippers. Anyway, it's a cool song that has everything you need when getting ready to go out and pain the town... pretty much any color you want with that kind of attitude!

The first song of the album is Wild Side, which has a lyrical content pertaining to the different seedy sides of society. An amazing hard rock song with a very memorable guitar riff. The third single from the album was the ballad You're All I Need, whose video was banned from Mtv due to it's graphic content of a young man killing his girlfriend in order to always have her by his side. Bassist Nikki Sixx was the lyricist for all of the Crüe's songs, while guitarist Mick Mars, drummer Tommy Lee, singer Vince Neil and Sixx himself all chipped in on the music and arrangements.

No matter what you say about Mötley, you can't deny that Nikki Sixx could pen one hell of a rock song.

The other songs are all great in their own right, but this album actually is one of those albums in which the record company and band got it right when choosing the singles! Yey!

Reasons to buy this album:

1) The three singles, coupled with the other 7 songs, make it a perfect hard rock album depicting what was so exciting about rock in the 80's.
2) The debauchery displayed all over the lyrics, together with the images from the videos which go hand in hand with the whole lifestyle, exemplify why attitude is so important in order to get people to pay attention to you.
3) You need to have the guitar riffs of Girls, Girls, Girls and Wild Side.

Mötley Crüe did not have a virtuoso guitarist. They were not fronted by a singer with a voice that put others to shame. In, fact, musically speaking, the Crüe are good, but not great. WHO CARES? They still rock harder than the majority of bands could ever hope to.

The Hit Song

A hit song is what many bands want. But what is a "hit song"? Billboard magazine would give you a definition of a song that hits the charts and proceeds to climb them, sometimes little by little, and sometimes really fast, with a bullet. A songwriter tells you that it's a song that hits a nerve with the people who listen to it. A record producer will brag that it's that special combination of perfect songwriting and perfect arranging of the instruments in the recording studio. An engineer will decide that it's a song that has been perfectly produced, while at the same time being perfectly tweaked. A record executive will tell you that it's a pure moneymaker. An A&R guy will simply tell you that he "knew" it was a hit song from the moment he heard it. A guy in the band who didn't write the song will tell you that he was there while it was being written - like being in the presence of history in the making. The guy in the band who wrote the song will tell you that it's great to be recognized and do something people love. His wife knows that the song, with some sound financial planning, also means braces for their little kid, as well as a college education. To the songwriter's son, it' simply "daddy's song"- no more, no less. The writer's parents will tell you that they always knew that he had it in him. His best friend will claim that the story is actually something that happened to him.

A fan will tell you that it's his song.

Dokken - Beast from the East

Dokken's demise came way to early, since 1989 gave us their farewell (at least, up to that point in time) album, Beast from the East, a live album that is a barrage of hard rock taking us all the way to the land of the rising sun. Lead singer Don Dokken, guitarist extraordinaire George Lynch, drummer "Wild" Mick Brown, and bassist and all-around great backup (and lead, too!) singer Jeff Pilson gave their fans a rib-cracking live album that I still consider to be one of the best released in the 1980's and hell, ever!

Granted, in interviews some members of the band have let the public know that there was some overdubbing done for the album, but it is strange to find a live release that doesn't have overdubbs. Thing is, anybody who is a fan of the band knows that these guys can play, and back in the 80's, Don Dokken could outsing pretty much anyone, with the exception of a few notables, such as Kiss' Paul Stanely, Journey's Steve Perry and Van Halen's (then) Sammy Hagar. The backing vocals done by Jeff Pilson and Mick Brown put to shame many a band's half-hearted live backing vocals. And then there's George Lynch, one of the best guitarists to be influenced by the great Eddie Van Halen. George's aggressivness is only surpassed by his unreal ability in his instrument. The way he sticks little solos in between chords is outstanding!

Beast from the East boasts such hits as Unchain the Night, Dream Warriors (from the Nightmare on Elm Street movie of the same name), It's Not Love, and the mega-80s hit In My Dreams. I could also mention Standing in the Shadows, which is sadly and pretty inexplicably kept out of the CD release but was available, along with two other songs, on the original cassette and LP versions.

Then there are those three standout tracks, Breaking the Chains, one of Dokken's earliest hits, the ballad Alone Again, and the only studio track of this album, the aptly-titled Walk Away. This live version of Breaking the Chains is a major contribution to the legacy of the band, and Don Dokken's voice is in top-notch form, hitting all the wailing high notes while regaining the veracity in his lower register. Alone Again comes to us with an introduction that doesn't appear in the original studio verion and makes it that much better. It simply hits you where it hurts. Walk Away is a great ballad that was to be Dokken's last single as a band in the 1980's and probably turned out to be the last video of their to be played on Mtv. Nonetheless, it's a great song anyway you look at it.

Reasons to own this album:

1) The sound of the crowd is important in a live album, and the Japanese fans here sound as if there were about 1,000,000 in attendance!
2) George Lynch's amazing guitar playing and Don Dokken's voice.
3) Probably the best live album released by a hard rock band in the 80's.

Beast from the East is a roaring lion that is a throwback to days when music and poses went hand in hand, but Dokken was always a band that showed that their poses were always accompanied by some of the best musicianship to come out of L.A.

The All Stairway to Heaven Radio Station?

Sometime during December 31st, 1989, I was a young kid watching CNN Headline News when I saw a newspiece that totally rocked my young world. It seemed that on January 1st, 1990, a new radio station would come to life. Now, a new radio station is not really noteworthy news, except this was The All Stairway to Heaven radio station. That's right, folks, nothing but Stairway to Heaven played 24 hours a day! When I heard it, I was amazed, to say the least!

There is mystery to be solved here, though. I look through the internet, I've asked other people, and no one seems to know about this radio station. There is only one mention of it on the internet, and that's as part of what apparently is a comedy sketch. We also have to take under consideration the fact that Stairway to Heaven, by Led Zeppelin, even though it is considered one of the best, if not best, rock song ever, and has been played on the radio millions of times in the United States alone, was never released as a single. Put that in your pipe and smoke it!

Anyway, I've started to believe that it was all my imagination. That that newspiece was just a creation of a young mind.

Although there is the matter of my having recorded on VHS the moment I saw this weird event on CNN. Dare I search in that 18 year-old tape and check to see if I didn't imagine recording it, too?

Poison - Flesh & Blood

After Look What the Cat Dragged In in 1986 and Open Up and Say... Ahh! in 1988, two outstanding albums in their own right, Poison found it in their hearts to start the decade off with the best album of their career, and the best album to come out in 1990. Flesh & Blood has it absolutely all, from the rockers that everyone loved back in the day, passing through the ballads that made our hearts tremble, and all over it adorned with a plethora of songs not released as singles that put many bands to shame.

Going through changes was one of the many things that made Poison exciting. Starting out as an all-girl quartet (well, almost!) with their 1986 debut album, in whose cover you see them in full makeup, and then toning it down a bit in their 1988 sophomore release, Poison was ready for yet another change in looks, as the back cover photo of Flesh & Blood lets us see. Out went the heavy makeup of the past and the leather and lace, and we see just four long-haired guys with jeans and boots. But the picture is the least important part of this album. The music is what won our hearts because it is good.

The songs released as singles were all great, for sure, especially Something to Believe In, which managed to shut the mouths of many a critic who, well, shot their mouths off at the songwriting abilities of Poison. This song and Ride the Wind were the definite winners as far as musicality goes, but Unskinny Bop was the high point in pure staying power, since it played on radios around the world for a long time after.

So, the singles being great and all, what about the rest of the album? After all, there were five singles and 13 songs in all! There are many gems hidden away in Flesh & Blood, some of them being Valley of Lost Souls, Let It Play, Don't Give Up An Inch and Ball and Chain. All of these are amazing songs that could've made positively hit singles, especially considering the "hit power" of Poison. The last song, Poor Boy Blues, even gave us, and them, a little taste of what was to come in 1993's release, Native Tongue, musically speaking, perhaps their best album to date.

But there is always that one song, you know? That song that you know is the best. The kind that grabs you from the very first time time you listen to it. That track to which you imagine the video for playing on Mtv, but that, sadly, never comes. Life Loves A Tragedy is that song in Flesh & Blood. The song reminds me that all those people that ever thought of singer Bret Michaels, guitarist C.C. DeVille, bassist Bobby Dall and drummer Rikki Rockett as not real musicians were dead wrong, not because it is a musical masterpiece, but because it has everything that makes a good rock song become a great rock song. Listen to it once, and you'll know what I mean.

Reasons to buy this album:

1) The best album of 1990 and probably one of the most solid hard rock releases to be, well... released!
2) It's pretty cool to have an album that has as a cover a tattoo from the drummer's arm dripping blood (if you can find the very hard-to-find original album cover).
3) Life Loves A Tragedy

Flesh & Blood is an album that grows on you pretty rapidly. We're talking getting to the boiling point in a New York minute and then simmering for the rest of your life. Go. Do yourself the favor.

The Birth of a Song

The birth of a song is a beautiful thing. Sometimes it gestates for 5 years and sometimes it takes only an hour, but when the time comes for it to be born, it's always a sight to behold. You take it and cradle it in your arms and sing it to life. You embrace it and whisper to its ear "Hey... hope you like this world but not so much because you came here to change it."

Rock Star (2001)

Rock Star is a movie that came out to much fanfare back in 2001 but didn't live up to the expectations, box office-wise, of the studio executives. Directed by Stephen Herek (Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure, 101 Dalmatians) and written by John Stockwell (So Fine, My Science Project), it was actually a movie that hit deep within the hearts of many a rocker. It portrays the life of an aspiring rock singer, Mark Wahlberg, who has a tribute band to his favorite, Steel Dragon, and ends up replacing the lead singer of said band. Jennifer Anniston plays the part of his girlfriend and, honestly, they both do a hell of a job.

Granted, there are some mistakes which the assistant producers should have seen, like using some songs on the movie, even if they were just part of the soundtrack during the movie, that actually came out after the year 1985, which is when the movie supposedly takes place. No, mistakes like that shouldn't be made in a major Hollywood production, but the fact that they actually made a movie like this makes it sting a little less. The movie, even though set in the mid-80s, takes as inspiration what happened to "Ripper" Owens, who had a Judas Priest tribute band in the mid-90s and ended up coming to take the helm when JP parted ways with Rob Halford.

Rock Star does a good job of showing us pretty much every trick in the "How to Be A Rock Star" handbook, from groupies to nailing hotel furniture to the ceiling of the rooms, to general debauchery. What is amazing about the movie is that you really get into what is happening to the main character played by Wahlberg, Chris Cole (alias Izzy). You go with him from being in a tribute band and having a 9-to-5 job, to suddenly being on top of the world as the lead singer of the hottest band in the land! That's a pretty wild ride that this movie takes us on.

The characters - musicians, groupies, managers - feel real because they are played larger than life, which is the way things are in the rock star business. The movie adds credibility to all this by having many real rock musicians in the acting roster, such as Jason Bonham, Zakk Wylde and Jeff Pilson (Dokken), playing the drummer, lead guitarist and bass player of Steel Dragon, respectively. The Steel Dragon songs were written especially for the movie, and singers Mike
Matijevic (Steelheart) and Jeff Scott Soto did the singing bits that Mark Wahlberg lip-synchs to. That's quite a list of people to add to a project about rock in the 80s.

If you want to watch a movie that'll take you back to an era that existed and live the life of a band that never did, Rock Star is definitely one of the movies you want to watch. The others? Keep coming back and I'll tell you about those other movies that, let's face it, you've probably already seen and loved.

The Rock Riff

The riff is the red light in the streets of rock and roll. It says "STOP! Pay attention." It takes you back to an era where riff was king and we were its loyal subjects.

But what, do you ask, is the riff? According to Merriam-Webster Online, a riff is "an ostinato phrase (as in jazz) typically supporting a solo improvisation; also : a piece based on such a phrase". Now, that's all fine and dandy, but what the heck is really a riff, according to the rock world? What we're looking for are those notes, usually referring to them being played on a distorted electric guitar, that are the vital piece of the song.

What I'm referring to are those notes that make AC/DC's Back in Black the song that it is. The tan-tararan-tararan of the song! It feels a little weird to have to explain the magic of the riff in writing, especially since we're talking about audio information and I'm not about to write musical notation in The Rock Gazette, but what can I say? Writing this page and not taking under consideration the importance of the riff is like writing a page on cooking recipes without telling us the reasons why people like salty stuff over sweet stuff or vice versa!

There are so many guitar players that came up with all those hooks that it would be a list too long to contemplate in a short article, but let's take a look at some of them. Without riff masters like Eddie Van Halen we would never have gotten the majesty of listening to those first chords of 1981's Unchained, from the Fair Warning album. Kiss would never have given us Rock And Roll All Nite, Strutter and Deuce. Def Leppard's guitars would never have sung the unforgettable chords to Photograph in 1983's Pyromania. We would never have gotten Twisted Sister's I Wanna Rock, Poison's Talk Dirty To Me, and Lenny Kravitz's Are You Gonna Go My Way.

All of these groups and more have given life to the riff, which is really either a certain sequence of chords or a selection of notes that the guitarist plays and is the part that hooks us into the song. You know? The part that we we air-guitar to and scream the notes to our friends trying to make our voice sound like a Fender Stratocaster going through a Marshall amp that "goes to 11."

Without a doubt the most standout guitar players, as far as number of memorable riffs is concerned, would be Led Zeppelin's Jimmy Page - who gave us the songs such as Rock & Roll, Black Dog, The Ocean and Whole Lotta Love - and AC/DC's Angus and Malcolm Young, who came up with Back in Black, Highway to Hell, You Shook Me All Night Long and It's A Long Way to The Top (If You Wanna Rock and Roll). All of the above-mentioned group's guitarists are the best of the best, as far as sheer riffage is concerned.

And so it is with a great amount of love and respect that I thank all those people that gave us these notes. Here's to all those six-stringers that changed our lives as they changed hand position.

Next up: A movie that, even though starring two major Hollywood stars, did not set any box office records, but still managed to set free the rock star in all of us.

Tesla - Bust A Nut

In 1994, Tesla, a Sacramento-based band that started in the 1980's, released their fourth studio album, fifth in all, onto what was by then a music world that was impervious to the type of rock Tesla made: melodic with a hard edge. The world didn't care so much anymore. Well...

THEIR LOSS.

Personally speaking, Bust A Nut, by Tesla, is the best album that came out in 1994, bar none. This is definitely one of the best, most complete albums that came out in the mid-90's. In fact, if I sound downright CRAZY when I refer to this album, it's because it's so full of good stuff that I sometimes can't believe it when I listen to it! Most bands would give anything to have, in their whole professional career, so many amazing songs as Tesla released in ONE album, Bust A Nut.

So, getting down to the songs, Bust A Nut has fourteen songs, out of which you can say all are great in their own way, although there are definite standouts. Shine Away is a song that has an eerie feeling, starting out with a clean electric guitar while singer Jeff Keith sings "All is well, as it could ever be...". After a couple of minutes, the chorus kicks you in the groin so hard, yet so good, that you can't help but feel the song is, in a good way, endless.

One of Tesla's strongest points has always been its twin guitars, masterfully played by guitarists Frank Hannon and Tommy Skeoch. The opening track, The Gate/Invited is a song that showcases exactly what these two could do together. No, don't expect Van Halen-esque tapping, but do expect an interplay in guitars that actually talks to you. The rest of the band, drummer Troy Luccketta and bassist Brian Wheat, do what a rhythm section is supposed to do in a rock band: they hold the bottom end nice and tight with just enough adornment for you to know that they care about the parts they play.

Try So Hard is a song that, even though it has a hard bottom end, has a sweet heart, not to mention a long, amazing, soulful guitar solo that is actually the outro to the song. Need Your Lovin' is a song that I can only praise highly but sparingly, lest I fall into unreal rhetoric here. The last song of the album is a cover of Games People Play, by Joe South, which they do beautifully. The second to last song, Wonderful World, is probably the best and most complete of the whole bunch. Lyrically and musically, it's a song that interweaves the positive point of view of a young boy about the world with the harsh reality that the world sometimes has in store for us.

Lastly, a note on the song Alot To Lose (no mispelling). It's a ballad. It's nice, it's sad and it belongs in any self-respecting iTunes playlist of rock ballads. "I got a lot of love for you. I guess that means I got a lot to lose." That pretty much says it all.

Reasons to own this album:

1) The songs. What better compliment to pay an album?
2) The guitars. You always find something new in the arrangements when you listen to them.
3) Jeff Keith's great, raspy voice that pulls you out of your seat and keeps you paying attention all the way through.

Bust A Nut should have been a big seller. It should've been huge. Music-wise, it is.

Next up: A small article on a big part of rock.

Why Is Yoda the Ultimate Rock Star?

I've always said that when I grow up, I want to be a short green guy, just like Yoda. Why? Yoda is the ultimate rock star, and I'm not just saying that. Maybe it's just something that all of you reading this have always thought about, just didn't know how to put it into words. Yoda has the attitude, the charisma, the know-how, and - just like Tom Petty and some other rock and rollers - the looks to probably have been the first rock star in a galaxy far, far away.

When I say rock star, referring to Yoda, you know I don't mean musically. And maybe that's where some people might be mislead a bit. To be a rockin' person (or being) you have to be cool, and c'mon, does it get any cooler than Yoda?

Now, for a short dude, Yoda is an example to follow. He's like a foot tall, which doesn't really differentiate him much from Klaus Meine, the Scorpions' lead singer, and we know that guy gets what he wants. So I guess size actually does matter in this case and, like Meine - who always stands out due to his short size in band pictures - Yoda uses it to his own advantage.

"Do or do not. There is no try." That is Yoda's main motto and perfectly describes the attitude of any and all self-respecting rockers in the world. When you set out on a path to become a rock star, you cannot go around trying things out when what those things actually want from you is for you to do them, not try to do them.

As far as looks are concerned, we only need to check out the visages of Tom Petty, Aerosmith's Steven Tyler, the Stones' Mick Jagger and Keith Richards, Mick Mars of Mötley Crüe and pretty much all of the guys in Kiss without make-up, for us to realize that the way your face looks, really needn't get in your way to become the very best at what you do, whether it be rocking a million faces or taking care of a Sith or two.

If you're a rock star in the making and think that things are standing in your way, you could do worse than watch The Empire Strikes Back and check out the scene where Luke Skywalker is training with Yoda in order to become a Jedi. The messages you get there can go far into making you believe more in yourself than you have up to this point. Yoda is the ultimate intergalactic rock star, showing us that all you have to do is believe in yourself and you can go out and wield your lightsaber, or guitar, for all the world to admire.

Next up: A review of the best album to come out in 1994.

Van Halen - Van Halen

When 1978 came to the lives of many teenagers, I doubt if they knew that the initials VH were going to mean so much to them. Released early in the year, Van Halen turned out to be one of the best - objectively speaking! - debut albums in the history of rock. Not only did it recreate the frontman image so that now everyone had to be compared to David Lee Roth, but guitarist Edward Van Halen (Eddie to his 80 million buddies) was the last person to totally change the way the electric guitar was played.

Without getting into too much detail, once you most definitely buy this album, I would like for you to share in an experiment with me. First, listen for a couple of days to The Beatles, the Stones, Led Zep. Then listen some more to The Who, very, very early Journey, Aerosmith and early Kiss. Now I want you to take Van Halen and put it in your stereo or iPod. Now, to get into this whole trip, you should try to find yourself a set of BIG headphones, in order to closely simulate the listener experience of a kid in 1978 (no small earbuds back then!). Ok. Push play. Listen to the first song, Runnin' With the Devil. That first sound you hear is actually a car horn played backwards. Cool, huh? But then the song is over and what's this? The second song, Eruption, is only about a minute and a half long? What gives?

And that's when Eddie Van Halen changed the way the electric guitar was seen. Eruption used a new technique called "tapping" which, up until that moment, had never been heard in such a way in a commercially released album. After that, in the 1980's, literally thousands of guitarists all over the globe saw EVH as a major influence and emulated his tapping technique until their fingers bled.

So what about this album? Every single song is good, great, incredible - stick fan-worthy adjective HERE. Runnin' with The Devil, their cover version of You Really Got Me, the opening riff to Ain't Talkin' 'Bout Love. Then we have the underappreciated Jamie's Cryin', a masterpiece called Little Dreamer, and the magestic Ice Cream Man, led by David Lee Roth, who in this one literally creates a new meaning to the word cool.

David Lee Roth, Eddie Van Halen, brother and drummer Alex Van Halen and bassist Michael Anthony recorded a sonic work of art that deserves to be in your audio library.

Reasons to run out and get it:

1) Eruption
2) The first album recorded by truly the last pioneer of the electric guitar.
3) The chance to find out why listening to Roth sing can actually make you COOL.

Van Halen. The first album by a band that made rock great at a whole different level.

Next up: Who is the ultimate rock star?

The Road to Obstacles

The way to Rock Star Status (RSS?) is plagued with difficulties. Whatever your own particular Rome may be, the thing is that having an objective in life, having some place that you feel you should get to, is a package that comes with obstacles. These obstacles are the little kinks that should be ironed out in the fabric of your life, but should never be completely taken out, lest you find yourself in the underprivileged position of being a band or musician with nothing left to strive for.

Many rock musicians look at obstacles as something that they didn’t deserve in life, as that which they never deserved but still had to learn to live with. But have you ever thought about all those things that you thought shouldn’t have come your way but still did? I’m talking about the simple things: homework when you were a kid; getting grounded when you disobeyed your parents; having to actually practice your instrument in order to become good; paying your dues instead of becoming instantaneously famous. Yes, these are things that at one time or another we thought shouldn’t have come in our way but still did. Why? To put it in the immortal words of Bruce Almighty, because “that’s the way the cookie crumbles”.

Stop thinking that obstacles shouldn’t get in your way. That’s what they’re supposed to do. They’re obstacles! How about musicians stop looking at them as barriers, as walls, and look at them as opportunities to be harvested, as learning experiences and challenges.

If there is music to be made, then you should make it. The Stones, Led Zep, Bon Jovi… all these artists did NOT stop when things got in their way. Look at Def Leppard! In the very beginning, they had to deal with a drummer who was 15 years old! Then when fame started to come their way, they had to let go of one of their guitarists due to his alcohol problems – and you can imagine what kind of problems he must have had if the others also liked to have a drink or two. Then their drummer loses an arm, for Pete’s sake! And one of their guitarists dies in 1992!

Think about it: there must come a time in your life when you stop feeling sorry for yourself and come to the conclusion that many times the biggest obstacle you have is not the obstacle itself but your attitude towards it.

Next up: A band and a guitarist that both revolutionized the world of rock... at the same time!

Billy Joel - The Complete Hits Collection 1973-1997 Limited Edition

Out of all the songwriters in the history of pop music, few have been able to hound down on what makes people people. When it comes down to writing stories, making them rhyme, and putting melody into them (a.k.a. songwriting), Billy Joel is at the top of my, and should be in everyone else’s, list.

Whether it be writing about being a piano man trying to entertain a host of different people at a bar, being an entertainer telling us what it is like to be a famous rock star playing all around the world, or giving us a history lesson covering the second half of the 20th century and telling us that they didn’t start the fire, Billy Joel is as solid a storyteller as few have ever been in the pop industry.

If you want reasons to buy this box set, I’ve got some for you. If you’re in the mood for love songs, you got ‘em. Just The Way You Are, She’s Always A Woman, and She’s Got A Way will melt your heart from the get go. If rocking out is what you’re after (this being The Rock Gazette, after all) look no further because this box set includes such hits as Only The Good Die Young, You May Be Right, and It’s Still Rock And Roll To Me. If you’re an aspiring songwriter and are looking for a lesson in the craft, Billy teaches you with the lyrics to The Entertainer, New York State Of Mind, Scenes From An Italian Restaurant, and Movin’ Out (Anthony’s Song). This does not mean that the rest of this magnificent box set is left behind songwritingwise, but these four songs are definite standouts.

But Columbia Records doesn’t only give us three CD’s worth of greatest hits. They have also added a fourth CD compiled from a small tour of colleges that Billy Joel did some years ago entitled “An Evening Of Questions & Answers… & A Little Music”. In this last CD, Joel speaks about his career, the way he writes songs, his influences, etc., everything sprinkled generously with his sense of humor and food analogies (when you listen to it, you’ll understand).

Reasons to shell out for this expensive treat:

1) Almost all the biggest hits of an impressive hit-maker (although who know why they decided not to include Honesty here).
2) A great little booklet to illustrate your listening pleasure.
3) If you're a songwriter, it's a great lesson on how to write lyrics and construct songs.

A box set worth having? Yes. Some of the best songs to ever come out of a songwriter's pen? Yes. A definite must buy and something you’ll cherish forever.

Next up: Are obstacles getting in the way of our future rock stars? Well, they're supposed to.

A Young Kid’s Guide To Impressing Your Parents With Your Rock Music

Face it: many have been the times when you’re lying there in bed, quietly listening to your favorite band – what constitutes “quietly” is, of course, full volume – and your mom, your dad, or, worse yet, both, break into your private domain and yell at you to “turn that damn music doooowwwwn!!” and to “stop listening to those worthless bums”. But, c’mon, isn’t there something you can do to start changing your parents’ minds about what you hold most dear?

Sure! Impress them. In fact, shock them by showing how some of those bums actually went to college! Knowing what to say to your parents in these cases, and learning what interesting little piece of rock star history you can shine a light on for this purpose, is important when trying to impress dear ole mom and dad. There are many wonderful stories and scrumptious bits of data that will just have your head brimming with enthusiasm, just waiting for your parents to once again try to tell you off.

Going down a list of bands, I’ll mention a couple of things you might want to ponder and/or do some more research about:

Queen:

• Freddie Mercury: Ealing Art College– graphic illustration
• John Deacon: Chelsea College – electronics degree
• Roger Taylor: first studied dentistry at London Hospital Medical College and left it in order to get a BSC in Biology at London Polytechnic
• Brian May: this would be the piéce de rèsistance here. He studied at Imperial College London and got his degree in astrophysics. In 2007, he completed his PhD. and was also named Chancellor of Liverpool John Moores University.

The Rolling Stones:

• Mick Jagger: studied economics at the famed London School of Economics but then something got in the way. Namely, the Stones.
• Charlie Watts: went to Harrow Art School, became a commercial artist
• Ron Wood: like Freddie Mercury, he also studied at Ealing Art College.

Kiss:

• Paul Stanley: went to Manhattan School of Music and Art and also to Bronx Community College but gave it up when music started to rear its head.
• Gene Simmons: Richmond College – got a degree in education and is fluent in Hungarian, German, English and Hebrew (and also speaks some Spanish – I know that from personal experience.)


The Police:

• Sting: went to Northern Counties Teachers’ Training College – got a degree in education
• Andy Summers: UCLA – studied classical guitar
• Stewart Copeland: went to California Western University and UC Berkeley

Van Halen:

• Alex Van Halen: briefly went to Pasadena City College to study music
• Michael Anthony: studied music at Pasadena City College

Sheryl Crow:

• University of Missouri – B.A. in Education, Music Composition and Performance

Bon Jovi:

• David Bryan: was studying Pre-Med at Rutdgers University and left it to go to Juilliard (music) instead

We can also add a roster of people who have studied at Berklee College of Music, in Boston, MA:

• John Myung, John Petrucci and Mike Portnoy – Dream Theater
• Steve Vai
• Tim Owens (Ripper Owens)
• Al Pitrelli
• Joey Kramer and Brad Whitford – Aerosmith
• Steve Smith – Journey
• Will Calhoun – Living Colour

So there you have it, kids. A small list which can undoubtedly be expanded with some research on your part. But always remember something: it’s really not that important to know if they studied this or that because what they play still reaches your heart. If you parents need some sort of college degree for them to pass favorable judgement on a person then that’s something that perhaps they should have learned in college that it’s wrong.

Next up: A massive greatest hits package from one of the best songwriters in pop music.

Queen - News of the World

I don’t think it takes that long to realize when you’ve hit the jackpot, at least as far as albums of already successful groups is concerned. I wonder if Queen - Freddie Mercury, Brian May, John Deacon and Roger Taylor - realized this in 1977 as they were recording this outstanding piece of musicianship. One should realize that this is the album in which both We Will Rock You and We Are The Champions made their debut. And to top it all off, we also have such outstanding gems as All Dead, All Dead, It’s Late, and My Melancholy Blues. All amazing songs that helped to cement Queen into the annals of rock history (as if they hadn’t already done that with Bohemian Rhapsody).

But it’s another one of the songs from this album that also became a single off it that truly shows to me the majesty that is Queen (no pun intended). Spread Your Wings is one of those songs that absolutely has it all within the context of the music of Queen. Soaring vocals by Mercury, May showing off hard-edged guitars, Taylor unselfishly giving us a heavy-hitting drum sound, and a melody that just mesmerizes you from the get go. Ironically enough, this song was written by John Deacon, bass player to the band and also, later on, responsible for penning such hits as Another One Bites The Dust and I Want To Break Free. I say ironically because Deacon was the Queen member with the least amount of tracks actually put down on vinyl.

Jumping into a side note here, News Of The World’s cover art, by Frank Kelly Freas, is one of the many reasons why, as great as CD technology is, it really is a bummer that the cover art of so many great albums is now being lost due to miniscule proportions in the medium. Album covers were (and to some extent, still are) an art form, and this album’s cover just proves how true that statement was (or is).

Reasons to get this album:

1) Spread Your Wings (can't say enough about that song!) - Deacon's biggest gem.
2) It's Late (if you are going to listen to it for the very first time - I envy you!)
3) WWRY, We Are The Champions and All Dead, All Dead make you want to find out exactly who Mercury and Co. sold their soul to in order to be able to write these songs.

Should you buy this album? Hell, yes. Should you bother your friends with it during your next party? You betcha. Should you become defensive if any dumbass tells you that it’s dated or passé? Sure! A kick in the ass never hurt anyone. In closing, a great piece of the Queen that you should have. Spread Your Wings alone is enough reason for you to Amazon this album right away.

Next up: Have you ever thought that impressing your parents is almost impossible when it comes to rock music? Think again (and think like them).

The Little Rocker That Grew

A short storem (story-poem) by Sergio Mendoza Hochmann

There once was a little rocker. He rocked with all his favorite bands, listening to their albums, day in, day out.

He rocked with the Crüe,
He rolled with Led Zep,
He rocked with Janis,
He rolled with Def Lep,
He rocked with Van Halen,
He rolled with the Stones,
As a matter of fact,
He rocked with all his heroes
Day in, day out.

He rocked at five,
To The Cars’ Drive,
To Stairway To Heaven,
He rocked at seven,
He rocked at nine,
To Sweet Child O’ Mine,
As a mater of fact,
He rocked with all his heroes
Day in, day out,

He rocked at sixteen,
With anything Queen,
He rocked at eighteen,
To anything Cream,
He rocked at twenty,
And there seemed to be plenty,
Of bands in the world,
Looking out for his soul,

He rocked at twenty-two,
To I Remember You,
He rocked at twenty-four,
To No More, No More,
He rocked at twenty-six,
To In The Sticks,
And there seemed to be plenty,
Of bands in the world,
Looking out for his soul.

One day, he finished college and thought:

“What am I gonna do with my life?
God didn’t give me musical abilities
And I don’t have a wife.
I could practice my profession
And be a lawyer to anyone who acts with no discretion.
But do I wanna be happy
Or just content with what comes my way?
I should do what I love
And if I can’t do that,
Then at least I can learn to love what I do.
It has to come from a place deep inside me,
Deep in my being
So I can finally start feeling.”

The decision came to him in a dream one night.
He knew when he woke up that he was probably right.
He couldn’t pluck guitar strings,
He could’t really be the one that sings,
He couldn’t play the drums
And playing the piano he even scared his mum.
But there was one job made for someone just like him.
A place that came to him on a deep night’s slumber’s whim.

He would be a “helper” of sorts
Working to make dreams happen every night.
He would be the one to say “yes” and the one to say “no”
To all the little girls wanting to hang around with the pros.

He would wake up in the morning
And listen to his favorite bands,
He would listen to their new songs
And be there when they land.

The time was finally here
And he got a backstage pass for the whole year
He was now one of the guys
Never having to live a life full of lies.
He was a roadie
And he was happy!

Next up: Do the initials WWRY mean anything to you?

Def Leppard – Hysteria

Def Leppard just got it, you know? They just went in, got into a nice little studio in Holland – Wisseloord Studios, in Hilversum – as well as another one in Ireland – Windmill Lane Sudio 2, in Dublin – and created what turned out to be one of the greatest albums in the history of albums that someone like me should be reviewing. I know that was a hell of a long sentence to put in here, but what the hell, right?

Anyway, this album is twelve songs putting together some of the wildest sounds to ever be produced by John “Mutt” Lange, better known as Mr. Twain (that’s SHANIA for those of you who don’t know he’s married to her).

Hysteria came out of a tragedy that only Def Leppard could endure, the losing of an arm by their drummer, Rick Allen. But there they went – lead singer Joe Elliot, guitarists Phil Collen and Steve Clark, and bassist Rick “Sav” Savage – telling their comrade that no, they wouldn’t get another drummer and no, they weren’t gonna go around moping forever. After Allen got his new drumkit – where he would play what he used to play with his left arm, with his left foot – they got together and put songs into vinyl that most bands would rent their parents to have written.

I think any album that has seven singles (you read that right folks, seven), out of which all of them are amazing, deserves what it gets – in this case, sales of over 15 million all around the world. But, oh, wait a minute here. Oh yeah, it’s probably the only album ever to have given birth to seven singles!

Women, Rocket, Animal, Love Bites, Pour Some Sugar on Me, Armaggedon It, and Hysteria roared out of radio stations and had their videos played round the clock on Mtv from 1987 until 1989. Ironically enough, Pour Some Sugar on Me was a song that Joe Elliot did not want to put on the album because he thought it wasn’t up to snuff. It turned out to be the biggest hit of the album.

Reasons to buy this album:

1) It'll give you all the answers you need to the question "So what was the big deal with Def Leppard?"
2) Checking out the reasons why drummer Rick Allen, even though having only one arm, was named best drummer by many music magazines in the late 80's.
3) It's probably a good idea to get an album that took four years to make!

So, for those of you taking note, yes, go out and buy Hysteria, by your friendly neighborhood band (if you’re from Sheffield, England) Def Leppard. You will like it. You will love it. You will show it to your grandchildren one day and they will love it, too.

Next up: A little something I wrote in ode to some of the most important people in rock.